Perfectionism...

So I have read a lot of people's blogs lately about how they feel about the "mormon" culture. I have also seen references to the blog "seriously so blessed." I guess the theme I am seeing is that everyone is sick of trying to live the "perfect" life and feel overwhelmed or excluded because of it. I believe we were all sent here to do the best that we can. What that means to me is that the things I struggle with in my life may not be the same as what you struggle with in yours, and vice versa... but the important thing to remember is that we ALL struggle in some ways... if we didn't, we wouldn't have any need to be here. I am grateful for my friends who share their real struggles with others and for those who don't have huge trials right now that they are willing to listen and encourage without judging.

I have been reading the book "He Did Deliver Me from Bondage" by Colleen C. Harrison. It is an amazing book that has strengthened my testimony of the Savior and his Atonement. I started reading it back in March and I think I would credit a lot of my growth in the last few months to this book. It is a book based on the 12 steps and deals with overcoming addictive behaviors. I truly believe that somewhere inside all of us we do have addictive behaviors in some form or another... (TV shows, eating, shopping, blogging, sleeping, controlling desires, etc.) if you don't have one I would be interested to talk. I found Principle (step) 5 to be particularly interesting and crucial to my success.

Some interesting tidbits I wanted to share...

"One of the worst things the Saints can do for each other is to appear to be too perfect-that by refusing to admit our struggles and maintaining instead the appearance of perfection, we sow seeds of discouragement."

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." (James 5:16)

"I still hid behind a 'Sunday smile' refusing to allow others to share and bear my greatest burdens and sorrows - my own fears and feelings of inadequacy."

"To admit no need of repentance to one another, to thus promote a program of perfectionism to one another, instead of promoting Christ's gospel of repentance, is seriously near an anti-Christ position. We, of all people, should desire never to give this impression to each other."

"I was promoting the gallacy that Christ's gospel is a program of self-sufficiency and self-perfectionism, when in reality and truth, it is a program of humility, repentance, personal atonement and remission of sin."

She also refers to the scriptures being full of the humble admissions of the frailities of the prophets: Peter, Paul, Amulek, Ammon, Alma, the brother of Jared, Nephi... and others. Even the prophet Joseph Smith was recorded confessing his weaknesses and I have personally heard President Hinckley do the same. I admire all of these great prophets and she says it this way "They did not desire to be portrayed on pedestals, but rather on their knees."

Each chapter has scriptures and questions to ponder and one of the ones in this one was this:
D&C 59:12
How do you think it would help our congregations if we shared more openly from our personal experiences and challenges? Do you think it would strengthen or weaken us as a people to be more vulnerable and self-disclosing with each other? Why?

I pondered this a lot and realized that the times I have really grown in my testimony are when I have shared with others, or heard others share their challenges. I know that I am not alone and you can know that you aren't either and that we can best "lift up the hands that hang down" when we are honest with each other and that we don't have to be the image of perfection to be an amazing member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I served for over 2 years in the Stake Relief Society Presidency and I have a very strong testimony of the gospel. I had amazing opportunities to spend time at training on Temple Square with the leaders of the church. I have met Sister Beck and her two counselors and they are AMAZING! I have spent time with honorable priesthood leaders and I will never forget the time I spent there and the peace and serenity I have felt there. I know without a doubt that I am a child of God and that Jesus is my older brother and Savior. I can't imagine my life without it and I am so grateful for it. I will continue in my faith and I will continue striving to serve and do my best, but I also have Sundays where I don't want to go. Who doesn't?? I have also been guilty of being relieved when my meeting got cancelled, or when someone else volunteered to help out before I felt obligated to. None of us are perfect, and the only person who can truly judge us is our Father in Heaven... it is because he knows every part of us and He knows the desires in our hearts. The Stake R.S. President I served with was awesome. I was telling her once how I always felt like my best wasn't good enough when it came to raising my kids and she said to me "Sometimes just getting them in bed without killing them first is doing our best." :) I love her.

Anyway, this is really long I know, but I just have to agree that the church needs real members who are aware of their weaknesses and doing what they can to do their best, and how important it is that we are respectful and welcoming to ALL members from any walk of life. We had our first child before we were married, and my husband never served a mission. I have done things in my past that I would never do again, but I can't regret those things because they have made me who I am and I am a much stronger and open-minded person than I could have been without having experienced the effects of those choices. I can also empathize with and understand other people's emotions having had the opportunity to use the Atonement (regularly) in my life.

I am grateful for the gospel and I am grateful for all the saints out there who are just doing their best. When Jez got called to his new calling the High Councilman (who is a very successful person in many aspects) made a comment I loved... he said, "We're just a bunch of imperfect people trying to do the Lord's work."